A Dinar Will Get You Anywhere

Not having a car seems to be our biggest issue. Few family members have cars and those who do work or go to school and the young ones are always out with someone. Taher was now realizing all those issues I had spoken to him about 6 years earlier were in fact reality.  Everyone says “Tomorrow” “Later” “Next week, Inshallah” and in truth few things get done.  But hey I’m only a woman what do I know. J  Now all those things we needed time to take care of we are down to the wire for Taher to return to the states to finish up our obligations there.  We still are working on the Kitab al Ailah or Family Book.  It’s a book that carries the names of members of your family Father, Mother and as you have children. Taher all these years had still been the only name in his father’s book not removed and put into his own. Now we had days to finish this task that under normal would take weeks to months. Again the word “Wasta” comes into play. Every Libyan will know what it means.. Who you know, or who you are. Thankfully the family still has some good connections and we raced through red tape in hours not weeks.  Taher had to also come to the reality that in a matter of weeks I would be illegal and he would be gone and we would have a problem on our hands if I needed something. Taher hates Wasta but we had no choice they had waited till the last moments to heed our pleas that things needed to be done and they had to pay the piper now.

Among our issues, is the fact that when I became Muslim I chose a Muslim name equal to my English name but in Arabic and when my first child was to be born we wanted Muslim names on his certificate so we went to court and legally changed my name.  Also I took my husband’s last name another thing not done in Muslim countries.  When I prepared to return I knew I needed a birth certificate so I had sent in all the paperwork to show my name change and had all the documents to show it.  Many states don’t show a lot of info on records and I was now down to mothers name, fathers name and a document that said my name has been changed to this.  All that sweet info that us genealogical people love like birth time, weight, parental info was pretty much washed away. Also another glitch hit me. When my mother was born they had not decided on a middle name by the time she was released from the hospital and they family didn't want to pay the additional fees to add a name after she left so unlike many she has no middle name. Over the years she used her maiden name as her middle name but tell that to a court in the Middle East. I was drilled on who were my parents, where were they from, when were they born why wasn't all this info on my papers????

I told my husband her father’s name was Clem add that if nothing else. Tell them we don’t add that info to records each state is different.  I knew their birth dates but why wasn't it in the papers? I don’t know…..

Then to top things all off we were not legally married as far as Libya was concerned. Come on…I have my Islamic marriage certificate, I have my legal USA certificate, isn't that proof enough? I have 5 children you want me to marry again? Sure….last night a man came to the house. I was given four pages to sign while I sat in another room. My nephew Ali happened to be at the house and he became a witness to a wedding. I told my husband where was my Mahar?  He laughed, he told his brother what I was saying and Asaid commented “Taher, where’s the ring to your keys?” You know that metal ring that binds keys…they laughed as Taher handed me the ring.  The man left and we hustled out to eat at a friend’s house for dinner. So November 1, 2012 add it to my list of wedding dates. On a final note this day has one more item. My grandson Beau James would have been 15, as always “Happy Birthday, Grandma’s little angel”.