The Three Amigos

Today I thought I would share a bit of my life with everyone. I was married in 1986 to a man who at the time I felt was the hottest thing I had seen in a long time. He was the imam at my local mosque and was held in high regards by the community. Just after we married we decided to move to Georgia and live by a uncle of mine as work was scarce in Utah. So we packed up what we had into my old chevy truck and put what else we could not carry into storage and began our trip.
The next day we arrived in Colorado and we spent a few weeks visiting with friends of my husband. We finally landed in Denver and after a few days the local men had begged my husband to stay. Not having much money and no job a good friend of his allowed us to stay with his family. Abdulsalam and Theresa had married about two years before and they had a small son. They had a two bedroom apartment and we were given the master bedroom. After a short stay with them we moved in with Yousef and Janel another couple we had met. Yousef and Janel were expecting their first child due just about any day and my husband was nervous as to when we would need to move on. He had started working and was expecting his first paycheck any day. Finally the big day arrived and their new daughter Sakina joined the world. So we looked real quick for an apartment of our own. Thankfully we found one and we finally settled in to our own place. Over the years we had became good friends. Now if you are married to a Libyan you know that can be difficult. Three women from different backgrounds who's only common denominator is a Libyan husband. The men would say one thing and the women would say something totally different and things were always getting mixed up. About two years later we had finally made it to the world of parenthood and were expecting our first child together. Funny it seemed like every time one got pregnant one of the others would get pregnant also. Janel had added twins to her home and Theresa had finally had a girl and was expecting again and due any time. Our families were growing in leaps and bounds.
My husbands family so much wanted us to come to Libya so they had sent tickets for us to travel but since I had a history of problems I told them to wait till after the baby was born..
On October 17, 1989 our son Suhayb was born. Janel was in attendance and we both gave a hoot of joy when the doctor announced I had a son. The day I brought him home began years of waiting.....He had a seizure the first night home and we rushed him to the hospital. For three weeks I tried to convince doctors that he was having seizures when he slept. Not till one day at his first physical did they get a glimpse of what I meant. He had just fallen asleep and began to seize just as the doctor came in the room. See I was not a neurotic mom my son was having seizures. For the next three weeks we waded through hell. Maybe he had this or that? Hell they didn't know and they poked and prodded his little body trying to figure out what was wrong. After he was 18 months they finally went away. By then another child was on the way and I was having problems with high blood pressure and blackouts. So we waited. After Suhayl was born I got a whole three months and the doctor said guess what! You have got to be kidding! Nope another was on the way and the doctor suggested we wait again. We had quite a list of complications during that pregnancy. At four months my amnio came back as possible downs syndrome. And a few months later my father was diagnosed with Alzheimers and Parkinsons and in the same week a car accident nearly took my husbands life.
So we waited....Aieysha came out fine but she does have some learning disabilities. Dad died much sooner than expected he lasted just one short year and he died at 59, months away from retiring. Taher spent four years recouping from his accident and me with three small kids to deal with.
For many years we waited two more daughters were born and by then we never imagined we would make it back home. Yousif and Janel had traveled just after Suhayb got out of the hospital and Abdulsalam and Theresa followed shortly after. The Three Amigos had been broken up. Back then there was barely phones and mail was a joke so we lost touch with Janel, Theresa came back after a few months as one of the kids had developed seizures and she wanted to be in the states. Finally, after 17 years I had heard enough of it was my fault we never went home. And I set out to make it happen. As you know I spent months gathering information and trying to learn all I could about Libya. I contacted Janel now that internet was available and she introduced me to other ladies. Each month I pushed my husband to get things done. We were not getting any older and now with five kids the cost of tickets were quite more than we imagined. Not to mention passports and visas and all the things we needed like baggage and clothes and so many other things.
Everyone knows how my trip went and now that I am back I spend many days talking with Theresa. They hope to go this next year too. Many of the families here have begun going back and forth with the kids. But the bigger families it is much harder as the cost is multiplied. So now we are planning month by month. Buy a ticket, get a passport, buy a gift or stuff to take. Each month is spent figuring out how to make it work. I cannot wait till next year. The Three Amigos will be together again...We each have 7 kids now....We are older and wiser. The kids are growing and life is suddenly shorter. Twenty-one years ago three women embarked on a friendship that has lasted. Even distance has changed us very little. I remember seeing Janel after 16 years and yet is was as though we had seen each other yesterday....We had (at least I had) gotten older and grayer and starting to add a few wrinkles. We remarked how our babies had grown and we teased the older ones on how we had once changed their diapers, (moms love to do that) and how they were still our babies.
I cannot wait till next year when the Three Amigos are together again. Libya beware!!!