Technical Issues

You know what is like to find a old friend then not be able to find them again? Well, my life has been full of that lately haha....I was so excited to finally be able to say what had been going on in my life the past 6 months and I was so happy that in the mix-ups of the past 6 months that I had not forgotten my passwords to access this account so I could continue blogging. I had made my post and went the next day to add more and for some reason it would not let me back into my account. I had lost both my email accounts and due to my "activities" I was continuing to have to change my passwords to protect those I love. Now that things had settled down I wanted to try and put into words my past 6 months and then found that I was unable to get back in. These pages are all that are left of my trip there and today a warning that they no longer existed just about tossed me over the deep end.

Ramadan will soon be over and yes, it has been the usual feelings of not quite what I wished for but in a way it is more than I could ever wish for. Libya in many ways is finally free. I have been able to contact a few more family members and although connections are not yet great was able to talk to them a few moments. Their posts on Facebook have returned and for some stranger years from now they would see no change in our lives.

But, life has changed...hopefully for the best and for the future of many generations to come. My family has been pretty much quiet here as we waited for news from back home. In all reality we are fortunate that circumstances were what they were and myself and my kids were not stuck there while my husband would have been alone in the states. I spoke to family in January and they said one of the nieces was marrying in May. I wanted to come and spend some time and get the older kids scholarships so they could study. I knew it might take a few months and it was a good opportunity to see the family again. I dug out the passports and looked at them and found them to be expired and so it was discussed how to get them reordered in time for May. Then a few short weeks later Egypt broke out in protest followed by Libya. I found the livestream that I mentioned in my last message and followed news and reports up to 18 hours a day hoping for bits and pieces that would allow me to know what might be happening there. Months went by and I was getting weary....I think that the civil war must have been hell for my dear ancestors....we have all types of media now and although we could not make much contact with people there, we knew what was going on and the world was watching.

FREEDOM.....that word still has not sunk in for many as some areas still are under siege and prone to attacks by pro G forces. Today I cried as I listened to the Transitional National Council say that they had moved to Tripoli and that G's reign of terror was over and a new day was dawning in Libya. A new life...

There is someone there who we all hope is well and soon I hope she will post as we all have missed her stories im sure more than anyone has missed mine. Khadija I pray that you are safe as well. And all the other sisters whom I was pleasured to meet when I last was there. How has their lives been like? American or other foreign women married to Libyan men with children of Libyan birth. How many took their families and got out or like a few stayed behind. I can only imagine their families worrying over them as I have done over mine there.

I wanted to help them...I also wanted to be a provider which once Libya was free help to bring in all that we needed, what was denied to them that was a rightful destiny of any person. Education, Medical and Self Awareness

I could write for hours the pros and cons of a free society....I have already seen what some of the youth want...alcohol and drugs I mean come on its a new world and they feel its their right to have it how they want it...but, this is how I see it. Thousands if not millions of lives have been forever changed and we through the media and internet have seen and read and heard the stories. How do you bring such things into lives already damaged? So that instead of rebuilding lives they are farther torn apart by vices. Also the idea of sudden wealth...Libya has vast riches that should have been theirs all along but was squandered by a few. At a tune of 6 million people they are a small population really and with the money that was frozen and the natural wealth of the country they could be riches beyond their wildest dreams...to me that is just as scary.

I want to go there, I promised I would and even though things were not the best before, to go again has always been my goal.

Like before when I started this blog, I have to consider a few things....7 kids and now 4 grand-kids. They are not babies anymore and some are over the age of 18 so legally I cannot force them to do anything. I don't want to imagine that. If we go do we stay and travel here for visits and use internet to chat back and fourth between vacations? Or do we go there for a visit see that its not what my husband ever imagined and come back here to live out our lives while visiting there when we can. I can't say. My husband and myself are not young anymore. Life here has been a struggle the past years and we seem never to get ahead although we are in many ways better off than we had been. If my husband were to not be able to work what would I do? My health issues have left me with few choices. So as I work out these "technical issues" I guess now that I got back in and can post I will try and keep a running diary here of my thoughts. One day I guess my kids will look at this and see how hard it was to make these choices. Stay tuned for further updates as they become available hehe...